Snake Eyes – ★★✩✩✩

Certificate – 12
Directed By – Robert Schwentke
Starring – Henry Golding, Andrew Koji, Haruka Abe, Takehiro Hira, Iko Uwais, Peter Mensah, Eri Ishida, Samara Weaving, Ursula Corbero.
Running Time – 121 Minutes (2 Hours 1 Minute)

Despite this film getting bombed at the box office, Paramount didn’t even make half of its production budget back. I was still interested in watching Snake Eyes: GI Joe Origins for one reason, Henry Golding.

This is because the British actor is my choice to be the next James Bond, I think it’s highly possible, and he’s been great in everything I’ve seen him in like The Gentleman, Monsoon (I’ve never been more bored watching a movie) and Crazy Rich Asians. The only thing I haven’t seen him be is an action star, which makes Snake Eyes the perfect opportunity.

As you tell, this film focuses on the popular GI Joe character and how he became the iconic hero. After saving the life of Tommy/Storm Shadow (Koji), Snake Eyes (Golding) is welcomed into the ancient Japanese clan known as the Arashikage, in which Tommy is the heir-apparent. The duo must fight against the terrorist organisation called CORBA, but when Snake Eyes’ honour and allegiance is tested, he must lose something close to him.

I can understand why many people don’t like this movie, I’ll go into that in a minute. However, I felt this movie had a very 90s action vibe, similar to other 2021 releases like Army of the Dead and The Tomorrow War, and I enjoyed it for the most part.

Golding is decent in the lead and does a great job in the action scenes to make it even more concrete in my mind that EON should make him the next 007. On the other hand, the script makes him really unlikeable, and this is an actor who played a villain and was likeable in The Gentleman, to the point where he’s a dick and that’s not the look you want for a hero.

Especially compared to Koji’s Tommy, you felt sympathy for him and the pressure of doing right for his clan, and yet he gets screwed over. In one of his final scenes, Koji is able to stretch his dramatic legs and was great in it.

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The only likeable character is Abe’s Akiko, who felt more of an heir-apparent to the Arashikage than Tommy did and held her own in the action department.

Elsewhere, I would’ve loved to have seen more of Weaving as Scarlett and Mensah and Uwais as the masters. Hira does a decent job as the villainous Kenta.

The biggest ball drop is the story because they’re so focused on making Snake Eyes transform into the hero he’ll become; other things in the film just happen.

Like in the bonus features, there’s a short history lesson into Morning Light sword Snake Eyes was given and it includes the MacGuffin. This would’ve been perfect to have in the film itself!!!!! This could’ve been their version of DC’s history lesson.

There’s also a deleted scene where we see Golding’s Snake in sword training, and this could’ve been included in the movie to show the character improving in this area.

I’d understood not having them if the film was 90 or 100 minutes, but it’s slightly over two hours and those two things would’ve extended the runtime that much.

I’ve also never heard such a forgettable movie score. It was so generic and it shouldn’t have been, especially when you could’ve easily done something cool and different embedding the Japanese music culture simultaneously.

It was clear Paramount was building to the beginnings of a new GI Joe franchise and sequel to Snake Eyes. Still, given how critics felt and audience turnout, it would be best for everyone if Hasbro moved the rights to Amazon once their merger with MGM is completed as they co-produced and co-financed this movie.

Does The Blu-Ray Have Bonus Features?

Yes, and they’re not too bad, especially the behind the scenes stuff, and as I mentioned above, the short film into the sword should’ve been included in the movie.

Verdict

Despite having a solid cast and two great leads, the movies biggest failure is the script. Yet I did enjoy it as a 90s action film.

Available to Download & Keep from the 3rd November and on 4K Ultra HD+Blu-ray™ , Blu-ray™ and DVD on the 15th November.